You wanna date me? Here is my checklist! 


Hello guy who is looking at me in a different way, 
First of all… thanks for thinking of me in that way. I am flattered. 

Second of all… you are brave! 

Third of all… there is some stuff you should know about me…

I create lists. Why? I don’t know. They calm my anxieties. They keep me organized. They keep me focused. They keep me productive. Lists is my strategy for everything. My plan for attack usually looks like a list. 

I don’t know if you are anything like me but I know what I want and more important… I know what I need. No, my list has not always looked this way. In fact, The Lord has changed my heart over and over and over and I THANK THE LORD. I would have hated if right now I was married to a super rich, tall, green eyes, guy who had me in a super big home doing nothing. I would probably be empty inside and away from my Father. 

I have an extremely BIG fear of commitment. I do! 

My biggest fear is to marry someone who is wrong for me. 

My biggest fear is to divorce and for my kids to live in a “broken” home or in a home where the mother and the father cannot stand each other. 

My biggest fear is to do the marriage thing wrong. 

See why the prayer list? see why I find the marriage thing something super scary and worth praying for it like a maniac? 

My biggest desire is to leave a legacy in this earth that will continue to bring people to Christ and I would love for the Lord to use my marriage and my offspring for that… besides of all the extra ministry I am hoping to do with my husband. 

I could have been married by now if I didn’t have this list.

So when I post about wanting to be married, I am not lying. Gosh!!! I wish I was married… BUT I WILL NOT RUSH INTO ANYTHING. 

I don’t go with my day actively looking for a husband but I AM ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR GUIDANCE… thats the difference. 
So… here is what I am looking for… 

ready? you might want to sit down for this one.
Jesus is your first love not me

Oh this is hard for me to say and to even want, but I honestly need for you to love Jesus more than me. I have the tendency to want attention more than I need. I have the tendency to make everything about me. I need you to have a strong desire to do what God calls you to do. I need to know that you will not back down when it comes to God. I need to know that when you and I are doing ministry, you will not give up. You will not give up on the mission. I know you will make mistakes. I will learn along with you. I don’t care about that… but I need to know that you will not fall out of love with Jesus. I REALLY need you to love Him more than me! Because I want you to push me to do things that are going to be scary, difficult and challenging… and I am not going to like BUT they will bring GLORY to our Father!!! I really don’t want to slow you down. And even tho I love getting flowers and the attention, I would rather you keeping me focused on eternity and God’s mission!!! 
You don’t have a casual view of God

I need you to fear the Lord. I need you to be dependent of His word. I need you to want to pray. I need you to see His mission as your mission. I need you to trust Him. I need you to have faith in Him. I need you want to obey Him. 
You will protect me

No, I am not talking about you using your karate moves to kick someone’s butt… although that would be super cool and super sexy… not gonna lie. BUT I mean I need you to protect my walk with the Lord by helping me not to sin, protect my body by respecting it, protect my heart by loving me, protect my mind by encouraging me, protect my feelings by being honest, protecting our home by being the man of the house. 

And that you would protect my ministry by praying for me when I am out in “battle”. 
You will provide for me

Oh provision… 

where do I start?

I need you to provide Biblical correction in my life. I am going to mess up often but I am willing to learn. 

I need you to provide a safe loving and forgiving environment.

I need you to know you will provide for your home. Yup! I like to eat. Yup! I like to have a bed to sleep on. 
You see me the way God sees me

I have way too much baggage. I am severely broken. I have been damaged by rejection SEVERAL times. I have a very low self-esteem that I try to disguise by jokes and laughter. I don’t see myself beautiful… but I see myself as powerful. I do see myself as a strong woman. Don’t be confused by the selfies I constantly take. Remember that I told you I need attention more than I should? I am my worst critic. I am my worst enemy at times. I strive for perfection and I tantrum when I don’t reach it!

This is all I want!!!! This is all I REALLY need. I don’t need the tall guy. I don’t need the green eyes. I don’t need the handsome guy. I NEED the Godly guy. 

This is the part where you disappear. It’s ok… I won’t hold it against you. In fact, if you are not completely sold out by this checklist… please DISAPPEAR!!! 

You might be thinking. “Geez Esli, all I wanted was to date you not marry you!” 

I get it! 

I don’t want to marry right away. Remember how afraid of commitment I am? But what’s the point then?

I have no time for distractions!!! There way too many places where a MicroSite can be planted!! There are way too many people dying and going to hell. There are way to many orphans that need agape love. There are way too many single women discouraged and not focusing on what real life is all about. I HAVE A LOT TO DO. So please yeah… leave! My Father’s glory is at stake!!! 

And also… I know dating someone who is constantly posting her thoughts on blogs and social media is toooooo MUCH to ask… but THIS is one of my missions for right now and I am not backing down. 
BONUS PART

Words mean nothing to me. I need actions. 

I don’t know how to process words. 

I am told that I am nice, awesome, and even beautiful… 

then why am I single? 

By you telling me how awesome you are, what you are good at, and how much you love Christ… you are making me trust you less… I need to see it for myself. 
Ladies!!! 

I hope you get inspired by this checklist. 

And I pray that you look at yours and take all the physical appearance crap out of it. That’s pure flesh. That’s your lust. All the material stuff that will not help you with your sanctification. 

But fill your list with things that will help you be a better you…A more Godly you. 

If you are still single, you might want to see this video!

This Blog is a VIDEO!!!! woot woot!!!

PRAYER LIST

Day 1. Pray that he is growing Spiritually right now.

Day 2. Pray that he is listening to God’s voice.

Day 3. Pray that his ( the guys’) will would be bendable.

Day 4. Pray for his ministry.

Day 5. Pray for him to get ready for when you come along and you both can do ministry together.

Day 6. Pray for his emotional health.

Day 7. Pray for his physical health.

Day 8. Pray for him to break free from any addiction.

Day 9. Pray for his career.

Day 10. Pray for him to be responsible with his finances.

Day 11. Pray that The Lord prepares him to be a father.

Day 12. Pray for him to not get distracted by other girls that God is not intending to use for his growth.

Day 13. Pray for his identity as a man, his masculinity and self-esteem.

Day 14. Pray for God to allow him to see you the way God wants you to be seen (with God’s heart towards me).

Day 15. Pray that he has a desire to disciple others.

Day 16. Pray that his friends are pushing him to Jesus.

Day 17. Pray that he has a Godly mentor.

Day 18. Pray that God prepares him for your family. (My family is interesting… That’s all I will say)

Day 19. Pray that he would know and experience the power of prayer.

Day 20. Pray that he will have ambition for his life (specially for the kingdom).

Day 21. Pray that he is a good friend.

Day 22. Pray that he has an accountability partner that is correcting him Biblically.

Day 23. Pray that he tithes.

Day 24. Pray that he is okay with change.

Day 25. Pray that he is learning how to listen.

Day 26. Pray that he will care for others.

Day 27. Pray that he enjoys his time with the Lord.

Day 28. Pray that he doesn’t have a casual view of God.

Day 29. Pray that he is sensitive of your feelings.

Day 30. Pray that God is teaching him to take responsibility.

Day 31. Pray for him to have trials.

Day 32. Pray that he would be an achiever.

Day 33. Pray that someone is taking care of his blind spots while he is not with you.

Day 34. Pray that he has a desire to be generous.

Day 35. Pray that he is compassionate to others.

Day 36. Pray that God will prepare him for when you are sick.

Day 37. Pray that he is a blessing to his family.

Day 38. Pray for God to teach him to stop plans or change plans if it is because someone needs help or ministry.

Day 39. Pray that God is teaching him not to compare himself to others but to Jesus.

Day 40. Pray for God to teach him to be less selfish.

Day 41. Pray for God to teach him to control his anger.

Day 42. Pray that God reveals to him the importance to keep himself pure.

Day 43. Pray that God teaches him to be obedient.

Day 44. Pray for God to help him to be aware of what entertains him.

Day 45. Pray for him to fear The Lord.

Day 46. Pray for God to take away any fear of failure.

Day 47. Pray for God to teach him to control the words that come out his mouth.

Day 48. Pray for him to give his dreams and plans to Jesus.

Day 49. Pray for him to rest when it is time to rest.

Day 50. Pray for him to not get discouraged by silly criticism.

Day 51. Pray for him to learn from feedback.

Day 52. Pray for God to show him what The Lord wants for him in his helper.

Day 53. Pray for him to use his resources.

Day 54. Pray for him to take that big step he has feared.

Day 55. Pray for him to have peace.

Day 56. Pray for his passion and motivation to keep going so that he won’t get burned out.

Day 57. Pray for God to open his eyes to those who are good soil for his ministry.

Day 58. Pray for him to have a personal cheerleader while you are not with him.

Day 59. Pray that God will protect him from people that won’t do any good in his life.

Day 60. Pray for him to trust God.

Day 61. Pray that he doesn’t find joy in arguing.

Day 62. Pray for no pride in his heart.

Day 63. Pray that God is teaching him to imitate Christ’s humility.

Day 64. Pray that he has joy with what God has already given him.

Day 65. Pray that God is teaching him to forgive.

Day 66. Pray for God to teach him to protect his reputation.

Day 67. Pray that God teaches him what being successful is really about.

Day 68. Pray that God is teaching him to be an authority that represents Christ.

Day 69. Pray that God is teaching him about the importance to obey Him.

Day 70. Pray that his faith increases.

Day 71. Pray that God will teach him to be thankful for what he has.

Day 72. Pray that God will teach him how to focus.

Day 73. Pray that God gives him a desire to serve those who are under his leadership.

Day 74. Pray that God takes any fear of commitment away from his mind.

Day 75. Pray that God helps him forget of any memory that is stopping him from being the man of God created him to be.

Day 76. Pray that God will protect his dreams at night.

Day 77. Pray that he would feel, understand and even accept Gods love for him.

Day 78. Pray that God teaches him to love mundane tasks.

I don’t need your help


Hey there! It’s been a while! 

I am BEYOND blessed by the amount of people who care about me and wish to see me in a relationship. Many of you introduce me to awesome guys. Many of you want me to date your relatives. Many of you feel connected to me by just reading these blogs and feel that I am the most unhappy person ever so you set up dates for me. 

I love that you want to see me happy!!! 

But… you are not helping. 

Did you know that I have no difficulties to get guys attention?

Did you know that I get asked out very often?

Did you know that there is always a “proposal” waiting for me to say “yes” to just because of everything I write here or on Facebook ?

It sounds like I am bragging!! I promise I am not! 

My problem is not the lack of men. 

My problem is the lack of Christian men wanting something with me.

I really believe that marriage is not JUST about having sex with a man and feeling needed by someone…BUT it’s a partnership to accomplish a bigger mission…To leave a legacy that will expand the Kingdom of God.

God knows more than anyone what I say with my tears at night.

God knows more than anyone what I think when I meet a guy.

God knows more than anyone INCLUDING MYSELF what I really need.

No, I will not find my husband on a dating site. He is not an object I can pick out of a catalog. (I have a really strong opinion on dating sites. Sorry!)

No, I will not find my husband at a bar. I don’t date drunk guys.

My husband (or at least the guy I really want to date and marry) will be out there doing something for our Lord!!!

I REFUSE to date guys that don’t get shaken up when they think of Jesus dying on a cross for them.

I REFUSE to date guys that just go to church but don’t serve.

I REFUSE to date guys that don’t have an specific call from God because they haven’t heard a need or whatever.

I REFUSE to date guys that are not disciplining people.

I REFUSE to date guys that don’t live by faith.

I REFUSE to date guys that have a CASUAL VIEW OF GOD. 

I believe Genesis 2:18. I want to be someone’s suitable helper!!! THATS MY BIGGEST DESIRE!!! 

I want to help my man with things of the Lord. I don’t just want a husband that goes to work, comes to church with me and doesn’t disciple anyone. 

I want to live dangerously!!! 

I want to live a life that makes no sense!!!

I want to live a life that will show people that God is a provider, that God hears our prayers, and that will give Him glory!!! 

So don’t set me up with your cousins, brothers, uncles and even dads. (Yeah I like them a bit older) 

Don’t!! Don’t set me up with them unless he is already living a dangerously life for Christ!!! A life with big plans to expand the kingdom of Our Father!!! 

Because I know myself… 

and I know what I want… 
And I REFUSE to settle for less. 

I survived Valentine’s Day…

I survived! 

It’s all good!

Way different feeling than last years for sure! Still no man but I didn’t even feel it! 🤷🏼‍♀️

I was going thru my writings and I found what I wrote last year. 

I felt it was a good idea to share with you all what I wrote last year. So here it is! 👇🏻

How was your Valentine’s Day? 

I hope it was a good one!

Yes, my day was full of ministry… And I loved it!! Yes, I didn’t get anything from anyone on Valentine’s Day. But it’s ok! 

I got my Daddy’s favor and He let me do ministry today. And THAT, right now, is what keeps me smiling! Keeps me trusting! Keeps me hoping! Keeps me praying while waiting! 

(See what I did there! Haha I added my hashtag without the #… Now that’s cool!)

I know some of you were HOPING that suddenly your crush OR a nice man of God would wake up today feeling all kinds of feelings for you and ask you out… Or maybe send you flowers… Or a big teddy bear… Or even chocolates!!! OR a beautiful flower arrangement with an “anonymous” note! Gosh! Even a cute text would have been nice! Haha I know I was! 

I know some of you were PRAYING that something amazing would happened today. Maybe like this guy you know and you appreciate finally told you everything he feels for you! You know? Like in the movies when the “friend” finally confesses his love for you and BAM! There is your story!!! I know I was!!! 

I know some of you were TRUSTING that all your praying would do something in your guy. Well… mainly because you know what your Heavenly Father is capable of doing! He could change everything in seconds if He wanted to! I know I was!!!

You know what I tell myself? 

I always tell myself…

“Esli, maybe this is your last Valentine’s Day alone! Maybe next year!!!” 

If you are crying at this point while reading this… You are good!! I am crying with you! 

I am sending you tons of hugs and I am praying for you! 

I have had way too many of these Valentine’s Days to know exactly what you are feeling! Or at least have an idea! 

Here is what my biggest fear is…

That you will get mad at God! 

That you somehow would blame Him of your pain. 

That somehow you wont wanna worship Him or pray to Him or sing to Him because you are mad at Him.

I did. 

After I got rejected (the guy picked another woman and married her) I felt like God totally left me out of the blessing of marrying such an amazing man of God. 

I remember telling God “ok, you are obviously not listening to my prayers… So I am just gonna go get me a husband myself!” 

It was the lowest point in my life. It only took 9 months of me dating everything that moved and had sex with anyone that said the “right” things to me to realize that I felt worse! 

Every time I was more unhappy… Bitter… 

I felt dirty! 

I felt used!

I felt oh so EMPTY!!! 

Oh yeah! …and I never got a husband! 

I sometimes look back at those months and I wanna kick myself… Or slap myself super hard!!! 

But it was good for me to experience so that I could see that having tons of dates wasn’t what I needed in my life.

I am not saying “ok ladies! Go ahead and experience it for yourself!” Gosh! No no no no!!! I really wish that by me sharing this would be enough and that you wouldn’t make the same mistakes I made!

I don’t know why I am still single. I mean I know I am NOT perfect but you know what I mean… I sometimes think that it is so I can encourage other single women out there. 

I HONESTLY cannot understand why YOU are single! 

And gosh! I pray that my words comfort you tonight! 

I really hope and pray that I say words that will encourage you and LOVE Jesus more!!! 

But this is what I do understand…

That if you have a relationship with your Father and you are being obedient to His voice. You pray to Him. You read His word. You make disciples. You seek His face…

If you are all about your Heavenly Father…

You being single right now is part of His plan. 

And I know you know this verse so well mainly because its EVERYWHERE… 

Now… Read it tho… Read each of the words and really mediate on it… We tend to just scan Bible verses. 

Jeremiah 29:11

Remember, God can change everything in seconds… Don’t give up HOPE. The enemy wants that! 

The enemy is an idiot! Don’t listen to him tonight! 

You are amazing!!! 

You are worth it!!! 

You are your Father’s princess!!! 

You are gonna be an amazing wife one day!!!! 

But now…

Focus on what God is asking of you… And right now… If you are single, 

BE THE BEST CHRISTIAN SINGLE LADY THAT IS OUT THERE!!! KICK BUTT SIS!!!! 

I know you can do it! 😉

I love you! 

#prayingwhilewaiting

All I want is a burrito! 

It’s raining! 

My jacket is wet. My shoes are wet also. I am in a bus on my way to an orphanage. We had to walk almost a mile and cross the border to Tijuana where the orphanage is. I am listening to music wearing my headphones because I cannot stand Mexican (accordion or Banda) music and the noises the bus makes my ears hurt. I am typing this blog on my phone like almost all my blogs. Everybody seems excited to get to the orphanage. People are talking and here I am sitting alone in the seat. I might look like I am antisocial. Did I paint a picture for you? 

I am happy! 

I woke up with a bleh attitude but right now I am happy! I am smiling! I am excited to spend my day off in an orphanage. I have made some friends I really care about. 

I find meaning in things I do, how I spend my days, who I minister to, who I hang out with… 

There is a reason why I am still breathing. I know there is stuff for me to do here on earth. 

I am content with my life. 

Let me tell you a little bit about it… for those who don’t know me…

I oversee all the MicroSites for the Rock Church (www.sdrock.com/MicroSites). MicroSites are tiny churches all over San Diego where we take a big screen, projector and speakers and we have church with people on the streets. We live stream our services and that’s how we take The Rock church everywhere! I know! So cool! 😉

I also teach the women at The Rock church Hiking Ministry. Such a GREAT ministry!!! Such an awesome family! Many singles there… just saying! 😍(www.sdrock.com/hiking)

And I also help at #Unity4Orphans ❤️

We go twice every month to different orphanages and love the crap out of children! (Www.unity4orphans.com) 

Today, we are going to my favorite orphanage. I get to love this little one that has my heart!!! A 9 month baby who I love kissing, feeding, hugging, making him laugh and even change his diaper!! 

And the most important thing about my life is that I love Jesus Christ and He loves me back! I have a direct connection with Him. I talk to Him every day… all day! He talks to me! I try to obey His commands as much as I can! AND I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT I WISH I COULD BE HOME WITH HIM TODAY!!! 

No, I am not being suicidal or anything like that… I just know what I was made for and what my future looks like because of what Jesus did in a cross for me. 

This is me! 

This is Esli! 

I don’t want anything right now! 

I don’t need anything else right now! 

Although, one of my friends was eating a burrito with coffee that looked really good!!! I could use a burrito right now…

Yum!! A burrito!!!

I know I write about Praying While Waiting.

I know I write about crushes. I know it looks like I am in constant look out for my husband. BUT I am not. 

Did you know that most of my stories are just inspired by people I minister to?

Did you know that some of the blogs I post here were written a LONG time ago? 

Did you know that I had to buy more iCloud space because the amount of writings I have in my phone? 

Do I fall for guys? 

Oh heck yeah! 

Specially the ones with a beard! 😍

I don’t know. 🤷🏼‍♀️ 🐻

Am I talking to someone right now? 

Yeah… I am currently talking to a guy. 

Do I see a future?

Not really! 🤷🏼‍♀️

Why am I still talking to him?

Because for some odd reason he is in my life! 

Am I specting to make an impact in his life? 

ABSOLUTELY!!! 

That’s my life’s mission!!! 
All I want right now is a burrito!

Ah a surf and turf burrito sounds pretty amazing!! 

Seriously, I am getting hungry! 
Do I want a serious relationship? 

YES!! One day… right now tho… 

I don’t know! 

The reason why I don’t know is because I cannot afford to fall in love with a dream. I cannot fall in love with someone who only lives in my head. I’ve done that way too many times. 

What do I mean?

You know how you start to think or crush on someone and in your mind that person is just perfect but then the love either fades away or it forces you to get over it and you see the guy for who he really is and you are like… 

“uh… who are you? In my head, you were perfect!”

I can’t keep fantasizing on something that is just one way. Something where there is love going out from me but no love coming in my way.

Now, I want to fall in love with someone imperfect. I wanna fall in love with someone that is real!

And this time, I want to be the one that’s being pursued. I want him to make the first move. Pray for me! It’s so difficult for me to really just stay put and let the guy make the moves. But for once… I want something different. 

I want to be wanted!

I want someone to want me the way I want a burrito right now!!!! 

#Prayingwhilewaiting

oh feelings…

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Feelings are real!

They can ruin your day or make it the best day ever!

Today, I wanna encourage you to have feelings!

I know, I sound kinda weird…

But keep reading!

One of my girls was not having a good day.

And when we were texting, she texted me this:

“I don’t even understand why it makes my heart so heavy. It was a crush.” 

Crushes are a serious thing!

I don’t know you but I take them seriously!

I am one of those “all in” kinda girl!

When I love, I love full force!

When I care, I do it without thinking of myself.

When I crush, Oh my gosh!! 😳

AND I KNOW A LOT OF YOU ARE THE SAME AS ME!!! I know a lot of you love with all of you! I know a lot of you care with all your heart!! So…

Treat a crush like a serious thing!

Don’t let others tell you how to feel.

Don’t let others tell you that your situation is small!

Don’t let others tell you that a crush is nothing!

It’s ok to feel! Just don’t sin when feeling!!!

It seriously bothers me when you ladies tell me stuff like:

“I know he is just a crush and it’s stupid! I have never really talked to him but it hurt me seeing him with that girl!” 

NO! ITS NOT STUPID!!!!

“I feel so dumb! We are not even dating!”

NO! YOU ARE NOT DUMB!!!

If it is affecting your emotions, it means it is important for you.

And if it is important to you, you don’t think it’s important to a Heavenly Father who is MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU??!!!???

(Psalm 8:4)

And you know how I am gonna finish this blog… Right?

Yup… Pray!

Please show HIM (God) your feelings when talking to God! Tell HIM about them!

Tel HIM what you feel and why. He already knows but HE wants HIS little princess to come to HIM and vent with HIM.

HE is a good good FATHER!!!

I love you!

#prayingwhilewaiting

 

Ugh this picture!

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Ladies!!!

I pray my future husband doesn’t make ME a priority!!

I saw this picture the other day. And I have to say… it really bothered me.

No, I am not saying that I want to be neglected or used by my husband. But I really really pray for him to be wise enough to get me out of this thinking.

I get what you are saying. A guy should love you, protect you, CHASE YOU!!! He should make SURE THAT YOU KNOW you are loved, wanted, desired…

I’ve even said that…

Goodness! I go to bed every night wanting that!!! I know what it feels like!!! I am in bed wishing to the point of tears for a man to love me like that…

And yes, when you are first dating or getting to know the guy… you expect for extra attention. I mean… you expect extra love!!

Guys behave really good in the boyfriend phase and then they become… let’s just say…more relaxed when they get married… or so I have been told!

Let me see if I make any sense… I know the Bible says for men to love their wives like Christ loves the church. This doesn’t mean for guys to do everything just right so that we can be happy. That’s manipulation!!! Jesus died for us so that we could be holy again. Men are supposed to love us enough to help us get to a deeper relationship with Christ. So they can help us to become holy!!! Marriage is not about the couple being happy but for the couple to be more like Christ!

What bothers me about this picture is that this is what’s the problem with a lot of us women…And I include myself!!!

We have that mentality that they should worship us. We have that idea that they have to do everything perfect so that we can be happy!!!

There is another phrase that hits me like a punch in the stomach every time I hear it.

“Happy wife, happy life!”

Ugh!!! That’s just wrong!!!

We expect for them to meet all of our needs when it is NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!

Don’t get me wrong!!! I believe that a guy should swim shark infested waters for you or flight a plane to come have breakfast with you! (A pilot guy was interested in me a few months ago. It was AMAZING to have him around. He did wonderful things for me but it didn’t work. He wasn’t in love with Christ.) 

HECK!!! A guy already died in a cross for you!!!!

What I don’t like is that FEELING of ENTITLEMENT!!!! That is not humbleness!!!!

Your happiness should not be the goal for any relationship!!!

YOUR HAPPINESS SHOULD NEVER BE THE GOAL FOR ANY RELATIONSHIP!!!!!

YOUR HOLINESS SHOULD BE THE GOAL FOR EVERY RELATIONSHIP YOU ARE IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (let me add more of these) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the moment you have those feeling like “oh dude, take care of me cuz if you don’t someone else will!”

You slap yourself in the face… twice if needed!!!! AND pray that your eyes are opened to what God thinks of that attitude.  Pray that God teaches you how to go back to humble! Back to submitting!!! 

This is why we have a lot of fearful man who do everything the women want so they won’t be nagged. This is why men are forgetting how to be men! Because we, women, act like this!

And please please pray that your guy puts God first before you… otherwise he won’t know how to love you, he won’t know how to guide you or he won’t even know how to deal with you!

And hey guys who read my blogs!!! 😉 This doesn’t mean you can just not call back after a date, or not call back after you missed her call, or not answer a text message, or be a jerk (some of you guys are really good at that!)… remember that she is the daughter of the King of kings and he has very creative ways to terminate people! Let me remind you the lady that ended up as a pillar of salt, or King Herod was swallowed by worms, or Jezebel was eaten by dogs… I wouldn’t want to mess with one of His daughters! That’s all I am saying!

Ladies, let’s not teach the younger ones that this picture is what we should act like or expect from men. But that we should expect for them to put God first and that we always should be humble!!!

Philippians 2:3

I love you!!

#prayingwhilewaiting

“It is not you, it is me!”

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Like my title?

“It is not you, it is me!”

Ah that phrase!

Don’t you love it? 😑

I’ve got it a few times… Well more than a few… Way too many times, if you ask me…

So when a guy tells you “it is not you, it is me!” …well… Ok… Are you ready for the ugly truth?… it is you!

In the guys’ eyes IT IS YOU.

I know! I know!

It’s a bit too harsh for me to say.

Here is the thing.

Let’s get real!

He is just not into you.

It’s ok!

Not a big deal! He might be an idiot!

Let’s talk about it shall we?

First let’s talk about you!

If you love the Lord, if you fear the Lord, if you serve The Lord… If you are after your Father’s business… If you are after Gods heart… THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!!! The Bible says you should be praised!!!!!

Yes, I know I just said it is you and that i might be contradicting myself over here.

In the eyes of the guy that says this to you, yeah! It is you. But that doesn’t make him RIGHT!

Some guys are way too into the perfect woman according to society. You know the one that Victoria Secret uses for their underwear campaign. Some guys go with the ones that look hot with hoodies and unwashed jeans, I know weird. Some guys will only go for Asians or Mexicans or… You get it! Some guys have super low self esteem that like to go for past girlfriends or “like” old lovers because that’s all they think they deserve. Some guys would rather a beautiful body other than a heart that follows Jesus. Some guys will not go for someone who is independent and successful in ministry because they are too afraid and they have identity crisis, so heck they will never go for someone successful. Some guys are just too overwhelmed with their shortcomings.

Sorry guys! Don’t hate me. If you are reading this… I am not talking about you! I said SOME Haha  …and I know… Us women have stupid reasons too!

See why it is super important to pray for the men?… Those dudes need the prayers!

When I said that yes, it is you!

I just means THAT guy doesn’t want you.

Don’t get mad at him.

Don’t hate him.

Don’t curse him.

But instead pray for him… Just one last time… Telling your father that you are done praying and that hopefully the other girl will pray for him the way you have been praying…

Remember my last blog!

If the guy doesn’t go for a ruby, he is not worth the ruby!

If the guy goes for a simple rock, he has no idea of the value of real rocks… You don’t want someone like that…

Would you give your life, your dreams, your plans, your desires to someone who cannot tell between rocks?!?!

Please say no!

Yeah… In his eyes, it is you. You don’t meet the qualifications (usually stupid ones) a guy has…

But like I said… If you are a true example of a proverbs 31 woman, you wait for a guy like Boaz.

NOTHING LESS!!!!!

Remember that for God you are His princess, you are His ruby! In His eyes YOU ARE PERFECT!!!

You want a guy that sees you with the same eyes God sees you with…

I love you!

And I am so sorry he cannot see your worth…

#prayingwhilewaiting

 

 

EXTRA PART OF THE BLOG:

Let me share a bit more of my personal rejections yeah?

I have been told several “reasons” why they won’t go out with me… 

One time a guy I was seeing told me that he had stop seeing me because he met this one girl who in his words she was “on fire for The Lord” and that she was on “another level with Jesus”… They got married… She cheated on him and he came back to me wanting another chance… 

Another time a guy told me that he wasn’t into me because in his mind my boobs should be bigger! My boobs are just fine and there is no way I could carry anything bigger than what I’ve got! 

Another time a guy told me that I was “too passionate for Jesus” that he wouldn’t want to compete… Hahaha I know stupid!

Some still hurt… Not gonna lie… 

But then I am reminded that my Father LOVES me and that He has never rejected me. The creator of the universe. The one that has you living. The one that keeps your heart beating LOVES YOU!!!! 

Heck! Whatever a stupid mortal tells you has no weight you know?!?! 

(Raising my glass of water) 

To new stupid mortals! Haha 😉

 

You are a ruby!!! 


This blog is NOT gonna sound like me. It doesn’t mean that I don’t think like this, I just never voice it… or type it in this case. 

If you have noticed, I always post about becoming the perfect wife or the perfect wife material. It is always about how to better improve. How to better be better. 

It’s not that I don’t think I am good enough… It’s just that I like to think that there is ALWAYS ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT. I know how I look. I know how I think. I know what annoys people. I know what’s attractive. I know… 

But I also know that I am beautiful in my own way. I also know that I am smart. I also know that I am kind. I also know that I am a good woman of God. AND GOSH I KNOW THAT ONE DAY I WILL BE AN AMAZING WIFE AND KICK BUTT MOTHER!!!! I just know. 

But I like living my life looking for ways to improve myself… To improve my walk with God. I wanna be the best Esli I can be.

I just wanted to explain before you think I am super cocky! I promise you I am not. 

So in this post I wanna talk to you about Proverbs 31:10.

When talking to my single ladies, I always hear a “why”. “Esli, why am I still single?” 

I never know how to answer it. I mean, I hang out with these girls and I honestly do not know why they are still single. Some of these women are on fire for the Lord. Some are serving Him day and night! Some are better prayers warriors than me. 

A couple of weeks ago… I went on this intensive seeking of my Father. I had that question. 

“Papa, why am I still single?”

For two weeks I prayed and prayed and asked and asked. 

Then I read a Bible verse I have read a MILLION times before… I literally have read this verse SEVERAL times and I never really got it until a few days ago. 

Let’s study the verse shall we? 

Proverbs 31:10 (NLT) says:

“Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.”

Ok let’s start with the first part of the verse it says:

“Who can FIND a virtuous and capable wife?” 

Did you see the word FIND? It’s key to my whole point of the post. It doesn’t say that God is gonna give a good wife. It doesn’t say that God has a good wife for the guys. It says WHO CAN FIND… 

So I went to all the translations I can get my hands on and all of the translations said FIND. 

To get a virtuous and capable wife THE GUY NEEDS TO FIND HER. 

I am not gonna get into the virtuous and capable part because that would be like a whole series of posts that I am actually praying about so I know what to write…

Ok now… Let’s go to the second part of the verse. It goes:

“She is more precious than rubies.”

Did you know that NATURAL rubies are SUPER hard to find? I was goggling about it and it is so rare to actually find them that instead there are SEVERAL places where they recreate the reactions of the minerals to obtain the “ruby”. 

According to Gods word, a virtuous and capable wife is more precious than a rock that is worth a bunch of money and it is super hard to find.

Ok ladies!!! 

This is where you need to pay attention. 

IF YOU HAVE READ PROVERBS 31:10-31 AND YOU CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT YOU HAVE BEEN STRIVING TO BE JUST LIKE THAT WIFE… BUT YOU ARE STILL SINGLE…

And by striving I mean preparing yourself to be just like that wife is being described even tho you don’t have a husband or children yet.

THE REASON YOU ARE SINGLE IS BECAUSE YOU NEED TO BE FOUND!!! 

IT IS NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE UGLY! 

IT IS NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE FAT! 

IT IS NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH! 

IT IS NOT BECAUSE THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU! 

IT IS BECAUSE YOU NEED TO BE FOUND!

Just like a super rare ruby, you need to be found. 

Pray that God opens the eyes of the guy. So that he can truly see that you are worth more than a bunch of rubies! 

And if the guy you want decides to let go something better than a ruby, in this case you, then you let him go and get an igneous rock. It’s his choice. 

A guy that knows about the good stuff will recognize your worth. Wait for him… Pray for him.

I love you ladies!!! 

#prayingwhilewaiting 

Dear Future Husband…


Yo! Dear future husband,

I am 33. I just turned 33 a few days ago. I am not gonna lie… I am kinda freaking out you are not around. I am not sure at all if I already met you. I am not dating anyone. There are a few guys that keep texting me but neither of them seem to really want anything with me… or at least not that I know of…

Are you one of them? Do I know you? Are we friends? 

I don’t know why or how but several people… mostly men…have added me on Facebook and tell me that I am beautiful and blah blah blah… maybe they want me to help them get a green card or they want me to give them money. Don’t worry! I am not engaging with any of them! 

So… 2017 is almost here… a few days from here! Wow! Crazy huh? I still think 1997 was 10 years ago! 

And as you will know… every year I get this attitude of new year, new me! It only lasts a few days! It also happens at the ending of every month tho! Don’t panic! I will not make you have that attitude with me. Just listen to me and act supportive! It will go away! 😉😂

This time tho… I am not setting any goals like I usually do. This year I will have this attitude I am telling you about but I will try my best to keep it going! 

Mainly cuz I am exhausted. I am sooooo tired of the same thing. I heard on TV this saying “The good thing about hitting rock bottom is that there is only one way out. UP!” 

This is kinda where I am. You see? I have been waiting for you to appear in my life for a while now. I have been praying for you like I have never prayed before. I have been working on myself so that you will have NO DOUBT when we meet! 

I keep thinking that I am closer to you or closer to meet you every time I start falling for someone. I don’t fall for people super fast… I take my sweet time… as you will probably know… I don’t just fall for the average dude and I usually give it my all. 

Where in the heck are you tho SERIOUSLY?!? 

Am I that impossible to be with that you just won’t ask me out? Am I that terribly looking that it makes you double guess? 

Do you think that I will not fall for you and that’s why you don’t seem to ask me out? Am I not strong enough in my walk for you? Are these blogs making you scared? 

This time, my dear future husband, I making things a bit harder for you. A little pay back for making me wait this long!!! Just kidding. I just want to make sure I am not opening my heart to just anyone anymore. 

It hurts. 

I am soooooo used to it… it happens way too often. 

You see? I am just like any other girl… I fall for the texting or the nice words. 

The inside jokes and stuff…

I just keep thinking is you and then my bubble gets bursted by a guy who is not sure about me… a guy that wants nothing to do with me… a guy that likes my attention but doesn’t want my love. 

I keep thinking it might be YOU!!! 

This time or this coming year… I am gonna move differently. I am gonna move freely. I am gonna be the normal Esli… the brutally honest, the loving and fun BUT you will have to really LET ME KNOW IS YOU… I will not open my bruised and sore little heart to anyone until I know it’s you! 

Gosh!! I can’t wait to meet you!!!

I can’t wait to be your helper!!!

I can’t wait to give you all this love I have!!! 

I can’t wait to be yours!!! AND ONLY YOURS!!!! 

I can’t wait to do ministry with you!

I can’t wait to be the wife you have always prayed for! 

I can’t wait to be your #1 fan!!

I can’t wait to be your best encourager!!! 

I can’t wait to kiss your entire face!!!

I just can’t wait! 

And waiting sometimes hurts sooooo much!!! 

A Pastor (Adam Stadtmiller) a few days ago had a word for me he said:

“The Lord wants me to tell you that you don’t need a husband. You don’t need him BUT you deserve one! Stop acting like you need him! You are freaking amazing!” 

God is right! I mean I know He is God so He is ALWAYS right! 

I don’t need you right now! I am doing ministry very well without you! 

And one day I will get what I deserve!
Your future wifey

LovEs 
P.S.

I can’t wait to have your last name.