I survived Valentine’s Day…

I survived! 

It’s all good!

Way different feeling than last years for sure! Still no man but I didn’t even feel it! ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ

I was going thru my writings and I found what I wrote last year. 

I felt it was a good idea to share with you all what I wrote last year. So here it is! ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿป

How was your Valentine’s Day? 

I hope it was a good one!

Yes, my day was full of ministry… And I loved it!! Yes, I didn’t get anything from anyone on Valentine’s Day. But it’s ok! 

I got my Daddy’s favor and He let me do ministry today. And THAT, right now, is what keeps me smiling! Keeps me trusting! Keeps me hoping! Keeps me praying while waiting! 

(See what I did there! Haha I added my hashtag without the #… Now that’s cool!)

I know some of you were HOPING that suddenly your crush OR a nice man of God would wake up today feeling all kinds of feelings for you and ask you out… Or maybe send you flowers… Or a big teddy bear… Or even chocolates!!! OR a beautiful flower arrangement with an “anonymous” note! Gosh! Even a cute text would have been nice! Haha I know I was! 

I know some of you were PRAYING that something amazing would happened today. Maybe like this guy you know and you appreciate finally told you everything he feels for you! You know? Like in the movies when the “friend” finally confesses his love for you and BAM! There is your story!!! I know I was!!! 

I know some of you were TRUSTING that all your praying would do something in your guy. Well… mainly because you know what your Heavenly Father is capable of doing! He could change everything in seconds if He wanted to! I know I was!!!

You know what I tell myself? 

I always tell myself…

“Esli, maybe this is your last Valentine’s Day alone! Maybe next year!!!” 

If you are crying at this point while reading this… You are good!! I am crying with you! 

I am sending you tons of hugs and I am praying for you! 

I have had way too many of these Valentine’s Days to know exactly what you are feeling! Or at least have an idea! 

Here is what my biggest fear is…

That you will get mad at God! 

That you somehow would blame Him of your pain. 

That somehow you wont wanna worship Him or pray to Him or sing to Him because you are mad at Him.

I did. 

After I got rejected (the guy picked another woman and married her) I felt like God totally left me out of the blessing of marrying such an amazing man of God. 

I remember telling God “ok, you are obviously not listening to my prayers… So I am just gonna go get me a husband myself!” 

It was the lowest point in my life. It only took 9 months of me dating everything that moved and had sex with anyone that said the “right” things to me to realize that I felt worse! 

Every time I was more unhappy… Bitter… 

I felt dirty! 

I felt used!

I felt oh so EMPTY!!! 

Oh yeah! …and I never got a husband! 

I sometimes look back at those months and I wanna kick myself… Or slap myself super hard!!! 

But it was good for me to experience so that I could see that having tons of dates wasn’t what I needed in my life.

I am not saying “ok ladies! Go ahead and experience it for yourself!” Gosh! No no no no!!! I really wish that by me sharing this would be enough and that you wouldn’t make the same mistakes I made!

I don’t know why I am still single. I mean I know I am NOT perfect but you know what I mean… I sometimes think that it is so I can encourage other single women out there. 

I HONESTLY cannot understand why YOU are single! 

And gosh! I pray that my words comfort you tonight! 

I really hope and pray that I say words that will encourage you and LOVE Jesus more!!! 

But this is what I do understand…

That if you have a relationship with your Father and you are being obedient to His voice. You pray to Him. You read His word. You make disciples. You seek His face…

If you are all about your Heavenly Father…

You being single right now is part of His plan. 

And I know you know this verse so well mainly because its EVERYWHERE… 

Now… Read it tho… Read each of the words and really mediate on it… We tend to just scan Bible verses. 

Jeremiah 29:11

Remember, God can change everything in seconds… Don’t give up HOPE. The enemy wants that! 

The enemy is an idiot! Don’t listen to him tonight! 

You are amazing!!! 

You are worth it!!! 

You are your Father’s princess!!! 

You are gonna be an amazing wife one day!!!! 

But now…

Focus on what God is asking of you… And right now… If you are single, 

BE THE BEST CHRISTIAN SINGLE LADY THAT IS OUT THERE!!! KICK BUTT SIS!!!! 

I know you can do it! ๐Ÿ˜‰

I love you! 

#prayingwhilewaiting

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